Since VH1 never calls me to sit and make snarky remarks for their “greatest” series I decided to type out my own responses to “VH1’s The 40 Greatest Metal Songs”. I watched the show Saturday night and thought sure I’m not a porn star or anything, but at least I have actually heard most of these songs.
10. MOTORHEAD – “Ace of Spades”
I think this may be most of the world’s only experience with Lemmy. Honestly, besides the cover of “Stand by Your Man” with Wendy O. Williams it is the only song I really know by the band. There was a tube station in London when I lived there that had a poster of Lemmy with Samantha Fox that always made me giggle, so I had some experience there. Anyway, Motorhead is indeed metal I once wrote a review of a band for a zine that said “Lemmy has more metal in his mole than this band does on it’s entire album”.
9. OZZY OSBOURNE – “Crazy Train”I do love the diabolical laugh and the Randy Rhodes guitar work in this ditty, but Ozzy’s hair in the video makes him looks like he was sharing a hairstylist with the cast of Dynasty. “Crazy Train” is on my favorite Ozzy albums, Blizzard of Oz. Not because I think the record is great, I just love the name. I think the cover of Ultimate Sin is way better, that chick with the red eyes always scared me as a kid. Not near as much as the “Bark at the Moon” video, but that is a different story all together.
8. SLAYER – “Raining Blood”I think I must have been watching “Pants off Dance Off” during this part of the show. Slayer scares me, they seem like they might legitimately like the devil. Also the title of this song is just all out creepy.
7. IRON MAIDEN – “Number of the Beast”Anyone singing 666 over and over again is truly metal. Given I always thought Iron Maiden had two things working against them. First there is something about Bruce Dickinson’s falsetto vocals that were never that metal to me. There are the metal guys that can sing and the metal guys that can growl, somehow the ones with God given vocal talents always seemed less metal to me. The other thing Iron Maiden has that makes them just a little less metal to me is they have a goofy looking monster named Edie as their mascot.
6. KISS – “Detroit Rock City”Is Kiss metal? Can they be considered metal ever again after “I Was Made for Loving You”? I love that song, more than “Detroit Rock City” and not quite as much as I love “Lick it Up”, but it is disco. I understand “Detroit Rock City” is about some metal kids that died on the way to a Kiss concert and it is touching, but it’s kind of like a metal version of “Candle in the Wind” / “Goodbye England’s Rose” when you get right down to it.
5. JUDAS PRIEST – “You Got Another Thing Coming”If it were me, I would have had “Breakin’ the Law” in the top 10, but this is a damn fine song and I do feel in my heart of hearts that Judas Priest is as metal as they come. I also love that unbeknownst to the metalers Rob Halford got the whole genera dressing in fetish clothing that looks like it came straight out of the Blue Oyster Bar in Police Academy.
4. AC/DC – “Back in Black”I do love AC/DC so. They skipped the leather and silly devil antics (ok Angus does wear a funny outfit) and still manage to sound tough as hell. I find it interesting that a song without the original singer makes the top 10 (“Dirty Deeds” was #24 on the countdown). Don’t get me wrong I do prefer Brian Johnson to Bon Scott vocally, but I wonder if any die hard fans were miffed about it. Remember when they did the soundtrack to that Stephen King movie Maximum Overdrive? That was awesome.
3. METALLICA – “Master of Puppets”Not my very favorite Metallica song of all time, but it is damn metal. I think maybe I am biased against the song because once when camping out in a mall parking lot to get tickets for the Guns and Roses – Metallica – Faith No More show at Dallas Cowboy stadium the metal heads next to us pumped this song out of their car over and over and over and over. It’s like “dude, the band has other songs I swear”. No denying the guys are kings of metal. I am glad I skipped the night that my husband watched “Some Kind of Monster” because I think watching them all go through therapy might have made them a little less metal for me. There’s no crying in Heavy Metal.
2. GUNS AND ROSES – “Welcome to the Jungle”Truly and awesome song. Oh how I loved GnR and played this CD over and over. I even drew a picture of Axel Rose in art class that won some stupid contest and got to hang in an administrative building. Of all their songs this might be my favorite. I did love “My Michelle” from this album and “I Used to Love Her” from Lies, but after that I started to loose interest when they got into sprawling songs like “November Rain”. Oh and this picture is Dave M, Johnny M, and myself with Slash several SXSW ago.
1.BLACK SABBATH – “Iron Man”Honestly this simple little ditty has never done a thing for me at all. It seems like the song you would learn day 1 in guitar lessons. I don’t hate the song, but do I think it is the most metal song of all time? Hell no. Growing up around Dallas there was a local record store called Bills that had a radio jingle set to the tune of this song “Bills, Bills’ Billis. Bills, Bills 21 18 Spring Valley”. Not sure what I would have chosen in place of this song maybe even “Paranoid”.
BANDS ON THE TOP METAL SONGS OF ALL TIME I HAVE SEEN IN CONCERT
Faith No More
Guns and Roses
Alice in Chains
Rage Against the Machine